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Something of mine

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Something of mine Empty Something of mine

Post by Alasted Wed Jul 07, 2010 2:49 pm

http://www.thecrimlin.com/mes/files/ns_cda.pdf

My first foray into the craft of screenwriting. Someone--I don't recall who--once compared your first screenplay to your first time at sex: "Congratulations, you did it. However, in all likelihood, it's probably not gonna be your greatest ever." So, no. It ain't my best. I know what I do and don't like about it, and it certainly has a good amount of weaknesses. But, hey, the first one's always special, no?

At 88 pages, it's relatively a short screenplay. I've already done what I could with it, so what's left to do but put myself out on a limb and share it here? ^_^

Luinil was kind enough to get it hosted on Kenzo's site, so thanks all around.
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Post by c03n3nj0 Wed Jul 07, 2010 2:56 pm

What is it about exactly?
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Post by Mako Wed Jul 07, 2010 2:57 pm

Only 88 pages huh? I'll look through it when I have some more free time. Razz

I never knew you were a writer.
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Post by Alasted Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:05 pm

c03n3nj0 wrote:What is it about exactly?

It's about a young man who joins a rebel alliance to save the galaxy by fighting an evil space empire.

Seriously, though, if I've done a decent enough job, you should be able to ascertain what it's about. Wink

...sorry, I'm terrified of writing loglines.
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Post by c03n3nj0 Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:06 pm

I read through the first couple of pages so far.

I like it.
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Post by Alasted Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:44 pm

Mako wrote:Only 88 pages huh? I'll look through it when I have some more free time. Razz

I never knew you were a writer.

It really is short, and the spec script format is designed to make for a quick read. Your typical screenplay averages 100 - 120 pages in length.

And I guess you could consider this my coming out of the closet as a writer. Although, I think the term "writer" may imply that I actually get paid. Right now, I do this purely out of love. Later, hopefully, for love and money (because I love money).

Still, it's nice to be thought of as a "writer" and not as a "hack."
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Post by El Duderino Wed Jul 07, 2010 6:20 pm

I red the first 12-15 pages and this is definitely not aimed at me so I can't really have an opinion on it... but I can see you put a lot of effort into it and got lots of good details down... so keep up the good work Smile
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Post by Xen Wed Jul 07, 2010 6:26 pm

I also read 15 pages... I gotta go to bed, so I'll finish up tomorrow...
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Post by dsister Wed Jul 07, 2010 6:41 pm

Bookmark'd!

I'll read it when i get chance =)
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Post by Alasted Wed Jul 07, 2010 8:15 pm

Thanks, guys. Smile

El Duderino wrote:I red the first 12-15 pages and this is definitely not aimed at me so I can't really have an opinion on it...
Aw, but you're missing out on the best parts. After page 20, it becomes all about hookers and coke...

Or am I thinking of Hunter S. Thompson?
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Post by El Duderino Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:07 am

^^ If you promise there is cocaine and hookers I might read the rest Razz
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Post by Alasted Thu Jul 08, 2010 4:11 pm

And the final pages include an orgy and car chase scene*, so you'll have to read to the end.








*Orgy and car chase scene does not necessarily contain orgies and/or car chases.
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Post by dsister Thu Jul 08, 2010 7:47 pm

I'm about halfway through. Pretty good from what I've read so far ^^
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Post by Luinil Tue Jul 13, 2010 1:33 pm

Its on my desktop at home... i haven't opened yet, even though i helped host it. Razz

I will get to it this week, possibly tonight.
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Post by dsister Tue Jul 13, 2010 2:02 pm

I just finished. It was great... just the ending wasn't for me >.>
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Post by Alasted Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:24 pm

I'm so glad you liked it. ^_^
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Post by Don Ramón Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:44 pm

I will read it this weekend...
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Post by Alasted Thu Aug 26, 2010 4:31 am

So, have you guys and gal slugged through this?

If you liked it, then thank you so much. ^_^

If you hated it, then go suck a lemon. >_<

I'm a sensitive artist type.
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Post by marciosmg Thu Aug 26, 2010 11:53 am

I just found this thread so im still going to check it out. Razz
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Post by Luinil Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:36 am

So I finally got around to reading this. I really loved it. It was happy, melancholic, and darn right sad at the end.

It would be a great short film. I could picture the characters and everything very well. In a way, alasted, it read like our favorite radio host tells his stories. I really loved that.

If you don't mind I will be sharing this with a few people that might enjoy this.

Also, if you want a movie about something kinda similar, Musicians trying to find their way in the studio culture of Japan, find and watch "Iden & Tity". But careful, while it is Subtitled (Japanese movie hence Japanese actors) there are still bad words flung around and there are at least 3 sex scenes.... Still an interesting movie overall.
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Post by Xen Thu Nov 25, 2010 4:51 pm

Luinil wrote:So I finally got around to reading this. I really loved it. It was happy, melancholic, and darn right sad at the end.

It would be a great short film. I could picture the characters and everything very well. In a way, alasted, it read like our favorite radio host tells his stories. I really loved that.

If you don't mind I will be sharing this with a few people that might enjoy this.

Also, if you want a movie about something kinda similar, Musicians trying to find their way in the studio culture of Japan, find and watch "Iden & Tity". But careful, while it is Subtitled (Japanese movie hence Japanese actors) there are still bad words flung around and there are at least 3 sex scenes.... Still an interesting movie overall.
Bad words are good words...
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Post by Alasted Thu Nov 25, 2010 6:17 pm

Profanity? Sex scenes? You make it sound like I'm a prude or something. Razz

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read the script, and I'm happy that you liked it. By all means, share it with anybody you want.

I'll be sure to check out "Iden & Tity." Sounds like it'd be up my alley. Some films that I had in mind while writing this screenplay were "Bird" (a biopic about Charlie Parker, directed by Clint Eastwood), and "Round Midnight" (starring real-life saxophonist Dexter Gordon). Great movies with awesome, awesome soundtracks. If you're into jazz, at least.
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