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MADer
+4
Kenzomatic
SHMUPGurus
Falcon095
Saki
8 posters
Page 1 of 1
MADer
by Saki Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:23 pm
I typed out a long thread......I accidentally pressed a favorite and now its all gone.....raaaage........
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Falcon095- Posts : 1191
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SHMUPGurus- Posts : 340
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Kenzomatic- Admin
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c03n3nj0- Posts : 949
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B4L- Posts : 1187
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Re: MADer
by fkusumot Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:49 pm
I once typed up a long paper, a take-home Senior English exam (in which we got to write our own doggerel and then explicate it) and just as I finished it my cat knocked over an almost full Big Gulp of soda-pop (1 qt., ~1 ltr. for you non_USA types) on the stack of paper (12 pgs., and coincidentally, on the typewriter also).
A good evenings worth of work ruined (typing on a typewriter was a real PITA*). Looking back on it it's a little funny now. That was my last personally owned typewriter and from 81' to '86 I sure did miss it (then came along the Tandy with it's glorious CGA).
Now I've gotten thinking about the poem I wrote. Oh man, was it ever something (pretty terrible), I totally reworked it but it still is... :
Illa Kary'gun wa JE'M, asdeeqaya, elwaheedun min elnowah`he
The dream is gone, leaving only unraveled shards of time.
When all hearts opened, each spirit mixing in their cups,
Memories and moments left tears remembered when falling,
All lost when spent upon the summer earth.
Later in fading light I saw a god in the sunset. A trick of fevered
Imagination shone a smile from the clouds. Then a faint tease of
Hope stole 'neath your eyes. For a moment I thought you had set
The sun... Then swayed by the moon, onward with the rip tide.
* - alt. line 3
[Memories and moments summoned tears left when falling,]
EDIT:
I wrote the original 27 years ago. After taking the version from 1983 I
used it as inspiration and reworded it some, reworked about 30% of it
thematically and darkened the tone considerably. I also worked in a few
literary allusions. It's not like I didn't try to work in literary
allusions when I was a freshman in college but they invariably came off
too heavy handed or kinda fitting with the theme (but not really).
Now my instinct is try to be as subtle as possible. I know, it's not
that subtle but it is an improvement. To be fair you would think I
would've gotten better in 27 years but that's that's not the way it
works. To be fair I have taken off the last 17 years from creative
writing. Writing analytical reports, country area studies, briefing
reports and journal articles doesn't really hone the prose/poetry side
of things.
Depressingly though, pretty sure I peaked (like many of those man things) when I was 17.
JUST LIKE RIMBAUD, YEAH!
A good evenings worth of work ruined (typing on a typewriter was a real PITA*). Looking back on it it's a little funny now. That was my last personally owned typewriter and from 81' to '86 I sure did miss it (then came along the Tandy with it's glorious CGA).
Now I've gotten thinking about the poem I wrote. Oh man, was it ever something (pretty terrible), I totally reworked it but it still is... :
Illa Kary'gun wa JE'M, asdeeqaya, elwaheedun min elnowah`he
The dream is gone, leaving only unraveled shards of time.
When all hearts opened, each spirit mixing in their cups,
Memories and moments left tears remembered when falling,
All lost when spent upon the summer earth.
Later in fading light I saw a god in the sunset. A trick of fevered
Imagination shone a smile from the clouds. Then a faint tease of
Hope stole 'neath your eyes. For a moment I thought you had set
The sun... Then swayed by the moon, onward with the rip tide.
* - alt. line 3
[Memories and moments summoned tears left when falling,]
EDIT:
I wrote the original 27 years ago. After taking the version from 1983 I
used it as inspiration and reworded it some, reworked about 30% of it
thematically and darkened the tone considerably. I also worked in a few
literary allusions. It's not like I didn't try to work in literary
allusions when I was a freshman in college but they invariably came off
too heavy handed or kinda fitting with the theme (but not really).
Now my instinct is try to be as subtle as possible. I know, it's not
that subtle but it is an improvement. To be fair you would think I
would've gotten better in 27 years but that's that's not the way it
works. To be fair I have taken off the last 17 years from creative
writing. Writing analytical reports, country area studies, briefing
reports and journal articles doesn't really hone the prose/poetry side
of things.
Depressingly though, pretty sure I peaked (like many of those man things) when I was 17.
JUST LIKE RIMBAUD, YEAH!
fkusumot- Posts : 61
Points : 20
Join date : 2008-10-01
Mako- Admin
- Posts : 2894
Points : 3344
Join date : 2009-04-08
Age : 32
Location : Michigan
Character sheet
Health: (20/20)
Magic: (0/0)
EXP: 3 -
Re: MADer
by fkusumot Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:09 am
I posted three times so far today (4 including this one), and I have done that twice.
fkusumot- Posts : 61
Points : 20
Join date : 2008-10-01
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