the hug dilemma

[El Duderino]

One more time for those who where not in the chat... whats the appropriate hug ??? While on the surface most hugs seem the same the nuances make all the difference... whats to long or to short for a hug ? Where do you place your arms ? Do you squeeze or rub or pat ? With what intesity ? Do you use upper body only or full body ? Do you kiss ? cheak or lips ? both cheaks ? kiss before or after hug ? So many variations...

For me it depends on who Im hugging and what the situation is... someone I hardly know I usually don't hug... but if they do the hug gesture I never refuse... thats super awkward... but then its 2 second upper-body light squeeze and release... with good friends and family I go for a 3-4 second hug usually its also just upper body but the lower body is not trying to get away or anything... rubbing depends on if Im feeling it or not and what they are doing (and never to hard... I hate when people try to masturbate your back)... not a fan of the pat... thats for when you are giving someone who is crying a hug... if I know Im not seing someone for a while the hug usally is a little longer... like 5 seconds... 6 if its going to be a very long time (but Im not counting seconds)... also huging male friends and family is only for special occasions...

[Mako]

Hmm. Well, I don't really time how long I hug people for, that would be weird. However, I noticed that hugs last longer for relatives you are very close to, especially when you are not going to see them for a long time/ have not seen them for a long time. Usually they are pretty short otherwise.

Also, when you hug people just put your arms around their back. There is no need to squeeze them too tightly, pat them, or whatever else you do back there...

(I hate when people try to masturbate your back)

[Kenzomatic]

Generally for close friends who are guys its a hand shake that pulls in and hug. For women friends just a quick light hug, no patting or squeezing. For family hug with a sqeeze and for half my family a kiss on the cheek, which I'm not a fan of. Thats why it fun to have a 3-4 day old beard so your face is nice and prickly this way you can get even for making hugs complicated

[dunno001]

I... never really stopped to think about it. I mean, I hug when it feels convienent to do so, and both of us seem interested in it. Hell, there was a guy I hugged a few days ago, because I don't get to see him as often as I wish.

[Xen]

With girls I go for a tight hug with a kiss on the cheek...
With dudes it's usually a handshake that pulls into a hug...

[El Duderino]

Yeah completely forgot the shake-pull-hug thing... guys do that a lot here too... you can also pat a guy on the back with your first while you are doing that... just looks more manly than a squeeze or a rub...

[zex]

I don't do much sex difference , with people I've just met it's handshake, maybe with females I just met it's a kiss, with people I'm more acknowledged it's a cheekstroke and if they're male a mini-hug too in addition to the kiss (more like an arm in the back and one pat)

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